Sabr

Ever since I had found another avenue to rant and to ask for prayers, the frequency of writing went down to once a year.

Today, I want to remind myself that this year's Ramadan, besides being blessed with many amazing people, gagging every single morning, i am just 2 days away from the end.

The test for this year is not the food, not the gagging, not the loss of sleep.

It is the test of patience.

Patience is knowing everything happening before you but choosing to stay silent,  pouring your sorrows only to Him.

Patience is seeing the good in the bad

Patience is trusting that his plans are good for you

Patience is the comfort knowing that if He brings you to it He will bring you through it

Beautiful patience

Ramadan

4.30am. Mum knocks on the door before my alarm rings. Sahur is ready on the dining table.

5.00am. MIL calls to make sure we are awake

12.30pm. My desk neighbor who would usually lunch in, excused herself because she was worried the aroma would bother me

4.30pm. My colleagues remember that I am fasting and offered snacks in a container so I could have them after I broke my fast

7.12pm. On my way home, I broke my fast with individually packed Ajwa dates from a colleague  

7.30pm. I get home with dinner already prepared. Mum waits for me to finish Maghrib before she mops the floor.

8.10pm. The weather was colder than usual. It was slightly more comfortable in covered clothes and praying garment

8.20pm. The aircon from the classroom at the mosque is extended to the praying area

9.40pm. A couple walking their dog kept a lookout as I was walking towards them

9.50pm. Herbal chicken soup is cooking in the slow cooker

I want this to be a reminder to myself, should my faith ever be tested that He has blessed me with many wonderful people in my life. Alhamdulillah.

Missing my late cousin a little more today…

The Last Goodbye

The Last Goodbye

Last week, this time, I had just settled down in office after coming from SGH.
Visiting was finally allowed after a grueling wait.
We had spent the previous night in the hospital as he was shuttling between the OT and ICU and had 4 ops in less than 24 hours.
While things were looking slightly better, the docs warned he is still not out of danger

In the evening, we visited him again. His eyes barely open, he teared as Isham and I spoke to him
Isham noticed he had turned his face slightly, while I was too caught up in my own emotions.
it could have been that his eyes were not close completely, resulting in the tears we saw.
I told him he must jiayou and keep fighting.

We received good news near midnight that he is awake, showing signs of some consciousness.
The nurse asked if he was in pain, he twitched the left hand to indicate he was not.

The next morning, came even better news - he was breathing on his own and require only 'half' of the breathing support from the machine.

I had left for Batam positive that he will get well and is on his way to recovery.

Very soon, the news we didn't want to hear, came, that he might pass on in the ops with only a 10% chance. He made through the ops. 1 hour later,
his BP was dropping, organs were failing.
There was not much the docs could do.

I took the first ferry the next morning, riding on the same waves that took him away.

Broken

Gone too soon, too young.
I will remember him as a big brother who had so much love for people around him.

Perhaps, he had completed what he was meant to do in this world.

Till we meet again, ahde korkor.

April

Mixed feelings this month

I lost a dear cousin which I will blog in my next post.

I am finally graduating... been way too long

Dread

It has been a year since the last post and i m gg back to work tmr aft honeymoon. Sighhhhh when is the next holidays again?

Ridiculously long

What! 3 mths since my last post?
Time flies indeed. into the 2nd quarter of the year
Age seems to catchup quite abit.
work has been overwhelming as usual
and new boss hasn't been the best thing that happened
pissed me off totally. I am usually kind and not so judgemental
but he tested my limits. like really. haven't been so pissed with someone for a really long time

Isham has gone for a 9 week training
also a good time to catch up my studies and diet plan.
my exams end exactly the day he graduates.
InshaAllah that will be my last exam.
last week I was busy adapting to a new liftstyle all over again.
bothered by house, wedding plans.
this week I am pretty much settled down. and yay. finally can start on lecture 1!
not too bad right.... I am slightly less than 2 mths away!

Can't wait for our house to be done. excited maxxxxxxx!

busy

the last i remembered was studying for my exams,
rushing through year end work,
then preparation for wedding...

every week has been quite standard, travelling to the east to look at bridal stuffs
so tired to travel X.X
almost done with the bookings before we move on to the house!
the house will be ready much earlier than expected.
an Alhamdulillah, our finances have been well managed so far.

Chinese new year 2 weeks away. no feeel totally! just feel like eating junk only :)

Hope I can be an ACCA affiliate 2016. In sha Allah